She's higher than the sky, the sun and the moon

what a night

2009-04-27T03:57:00.003+08:00

oke.. i cant sleep as usual.. 4am to me is prolly like 10pm for normal time sleeping others. and im bored and hungry.. and i cant do much abt it really. all i do every night is to go youtube and watch kenny wormald dance.. he's such a hottie.. with nice accents too.. anyways besides that.. im a loner.. so i dont have people to call or to webcam with at night or to sleep with a smiling face after talking or something or to go out doing random stuff at night. oke the last part did happened last night...

met the bmp last night with the car.. had no plans.. fy listed out the things in her blog and im just gonna cut and paste it coz i dont have her link her.. so this was what she said..

the beautiful one had tickets to a movie
the horny one was wasted at HOME CLUB
the smart one was asleep
the cheeky one didn't wanna leave his games and invited us over instead
the bestie was doin overtime at work
the entertainer never replied
the pretty one got into trouble wt ms.gf

so yea.. basically these are the list of friends that we so called had in common.. in some complicated ways i guess.. and yea.. in the end we ended up "stalking" one of the people on the list but failed.. haha.. but it was fun.. sitting at the back of the car at an open carpark.. got excited like every 10mins coz every tall person that we saw was "him"! lol.. and yea.. while waiting we talked about him most of the time. the funny sweet "moments".. hilarious night it was.. what a saturday night!

on the contrary... i know its something harsh but i really needed space. i want to live my life.. to go around.. see new places, meet new people, know new things.. i never thought i would hurt someone but understand.. im hurt being stuck and suffocated.. let me breathe..

catch me if u can

2009-04-25T20:20:00.003+08:00

truthfully.. i am soooo lazy to update, upload and whatever that i need to do with my blog. i cant be bothered to upload pictures on my blog somehow.. not that i dont care la but the uploading part annoys me.. so dont kill me oke?

oritey quick catch up.

im done with school.
waiting for graduation.
on "holidays" now.
went for 2 job interviews and still thinking.
gained more weight.
definately low on cash.
still not dating anyone.
missing out alot on the outside world but too lazy to unmiss it.
suddenly in love with katy perry and lily allen.
missing the old times.
wanting a new time.
oke.. i dont know what im blabbering.. hah!!

oke.. i hope i can keep up with this.. i really wish.
fylilah.. can i join in your blog coz i think mine's dead.. haha.. i'll be black coloured font!

laterrrrrrr....

brighter than sunshine

2009-04-06T05:05:00.001+08:00

Good Morning!

Its your Bday!!

2009-03-13T18:19:00.006+08:00

Sadly the vlog we took was taken upside down... and frankly i have no idea how to rotate the vid we took.. if u know how to rotate.. DO TELL!! Anyways.. here are some stuff from Cheryl's 21st BIRTHDAY!!!

ABDC: Quest Crew

2009-03-03T18:08:00.003+08:00

Week 1: Sudden Death Challenge

Week 2: Fit Test Challenge

Week 3: Britney Challenge

Week 4: Whack Track Challenge

Week 5: Illusion Challenge

Week 6: Battle of The Sexes Challenge

Week 7: Hiphop Decathalon Challenge (My fav week)

Or-Quest-Ra

should i start Vlogging now?

2009-02-26T16:01:00.002+08:00

this is my first time doing this.. dont laugh!

A C phlegm

2009-01-16T23:07:00.003+08:00

im tired.. but i cant sleep.. my body's aching from sleeping in awkward manner.. anerex didnt help at all with my headache and bodyache. sigh. prolly sleeping on the floor at was not really a good idea.. i just realised after 7 or 8 months being attached there.

work was the same.. only that i heard a particular word like many many times.. *stabs throat* i hate night duty.. it hurts my head.

ouh yea.. i had like 3 bruises on my leg after my 1st night shift. grr!! and its huge!

i had a weird dream this afternoon. i cant recall much but i could clearly remember that i was in station. and the dream kept on repeating over and over again. its annoying coz i cant wake myself up from the dream to stop it. its only after izz woke me up at magrib.

i feel like i have tons of things to blog about but i cant recall somehow. my brains needs vitamins.. ive been very forgetful..

oke.. why dont i post up videos.. ive been watching these videos for the past few days.. its hilarious..

oke silence!! i kill u!!

lift your leg up. if possible.. your head too.

2009-01-08T19:46:00.002+08:00

i admit. i have clumsy legs. i would usually walk on a flat even surface and would still trip but luckily not fall. i dont know if its my shoes or simply i dont lift my legs up high enough while walking.. basically dragging it. i dont feel embarrased anymore everytime it happens coz its too often. and i dont know what to blame.. my eyes or my legs or my balance. i will never fail to bump it onto something.. from chairs to tables.. toilet seats to toilet doors.. beds to wardrobe.. i never have a blueblackless leg. every morning i wake up.. i see a new ugly spot! its really frustrating.. if its not blueblack spots.. i get abrasions instead.. dammit!

i really feel like i wanna stab myself on the throat with a pen at work. "u need to be quicker.... you're asking irrelavant questions... from one look u should have known what it is... what happen to you... u jammed suddenly... slacking slacking slacking...."

honestly i dont know how fast is fast coz even if i went as fast as a cheetah.. u'd still say its too slow.. and when i go too fast u didnt even notice ive completed everything and pointed out what questions i should ask.. and when i really do that.. u said it was an irrelavant question.. wtf?? i see no difference in you... in writing especially.. ive timed before and u took longer time than me... gosh.. leave me alone.. i dont care if i fail.. i just dont feel comfortable with u.. i dont get any praises to boost myself up. the medics can see what i mean when i say all this.. urghhh!! i may not be as equiped compared to your 10 years experience. dont make me look stupid.

well.. work feels different now.. dont think i bother to keep up anymore..

DECODE

2008-12-29T21:46:00.004+08:00

How can I decide what's right?
When you're clouding up my mind
Can't win your losing fight all the time
Not gonna ever own what's mine
When you're always taking sides
You wont take away my pride
No not this time
Not this time

How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well
But how did we get here?
Well, I think I know how

The truth is hiding in your eyes
And it's hanging on your tongue
Just boiling in my blood,
But you think that I can't see
What kind of man that you are
If you're a man at all
Well, I will figure this one out on my own
(I'm screaming i love you)
On my own
(but my thoughts you can't decode)

How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well
But how did we get here?
Well, I think I know how

Do you see what we've done?
We're gonna make such fools of ourselves
Do you see what we've done?
We're gonna make such fools of ourselves

How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well
How did we get here?
Why won't you show yourself

I think I know
I think I know
There is something that I see in you
It might kill me I want it to be true

my eyes! my eyes!!

2008-12-23T12:44:00.002+08:00

i think, with all the repeated watching of Twilight and reading of the Twilight saga through online and books, my eyesight is getting bad.. i was literally seeing double after hours and hours straining my eyes infront of my lappy. i admit.. im addicted to the movie and the books.. mainly because of Edward. =) yea.. my eyes... i think i need to start wearing my specs(last resort) if my dad dont agree on me getting contacts.

im coping well. thats the answer to the questions which almost everyone's asking, "are u oke? u look troubled.." umm.. do i looked troubled? hah.. hope not coz i can imaging my face being so much uglier than it is.. haha..

Razin have been trying very hard to motivate me about my weight and my freaking pimple.. he was trying to convince that i would be able to get back what i was in 2 months time with the no eating after 6 "diet" and ofcoz.. the antibiotic(which i was forced to take) i got from poly the other day with muhd. obviously its not possible within 2 months. but i does makes me feel better coz im looking forward to see my outcome in 2 months. but if it turns out bad... im gonna get stressed out again.

in prolly 3 months time.. i will be "ORD-ing". that is also depending on my ambulance evaluation by the SCDF testers. i dont know if i can do it. its really too short of a course to really get comfortable in taking ambulance calls.. but we'll just see. i was always asked by people at work of whats my plan gonna be after graduating.. i really dont know how to answer that.. prolly they think im just a joke joining this course. hah.. i'll let things flow.. we'll see how it goes... and in Jan.. it wouldnt be the same like it used to.. someone's leaving.. its oke.. i'll keep it as memories..

oke.. its starting to hurt.. gtg.. yea.. i realised alot of typos in my entries.. dont tease...

2008-12-16T21:48:00.001+08:00

god!! get it off me!! get this feeling off me!! stop it!!!!!!!!!! STOP!!

disturbed

2008-12-16T15:06:00.002+08:00

its the time again..

the time when i would feel to be left alone. to not be asked about it coz i simply dont know myself. PMS? no.. im feeling so confused.. at times it make me think that my choices for the future isn't right.. i hate it..

GIVE HIM TO ME

2008-12-16T00:24:00.002+08:00

just cant help it... his eyes just makes me wanna watch it over and over again. im addicted to him. his eyes.. his voice.. his lips.. he's like my personal brand heroin.

a movie must watch..

*TWILIGHT*

PHOTO UPDATE!!

2008-12-13T15:55:00.020+08:00

oke.. i think its time for me to update my blogs with picture... lets see what happened for the pass few weeks.. not all coz some people(Fae to be exact) have not passed me our dblo pics.. here it is..

starting with school.. went to school for a week to study bout maternity.. theres class photo taken as well..

HARI RAYA HAJI @ MY PLACE..

DAZHI'S ORD CELEBRATION

GHETTO JAM! B.Y.O.B.

HENDERSON WAVE!!!! WOOHOOOOOO!!!!

THE END!

britney and me

2008-12-10T16:34:00.003+08:00

i wanna be like britney..

she was the princess of pop once.. then he life went down the drain like really bad. she got fat and bald and ugly...

but now she's back.. she got her hair back and the best.. her body... gosssh!! she's got her mojo back..

i wanna be like her.. i was hot(to me atleast.. i dont know what u guys think of me when i was 18 or 19).. now im definately not the way i used to look. i was 10kg lighter.. clean clean face. not rocked surfaced. i had the body(like again.. to me atleast)... the hair.. i wanna me my old me.. all simple..

EXAMPLE OF SPECIMEN: THE OLD ME

041208

2008-12-08T15:25:00.002+08:00

0412

a night to remeber.. especially for fy and nyayi sally's cucu!!

wahahahahahahaha!!!

i'll pray for u fy.. =D

ps: Selamat hari Raya Aidiladha!

god was being fair..

2008-12-01T23:55:00.002+08:00

it was like the normal night duties i've done last friday.. but not after i got home that saturday morning. i felt giddy from the moment i woke up from sleep at work and then we had call. it was a bad one. i felt nauseous as well. i thought i was gonna be fine after i ate breakfast at home.. but... jeng jeng jengggg~~ i threw up my breakfast... EVERYTHING! thought it was oke.. i then ate prata which my mom bought just to refill back what i've lost.. to my surprise.. i threw up again.. then i knew something was wrong. i rested for a while and woke up at 1300hrs, having diarrhoea!! dammit!! vomitting then now diarroea?? obviously it was gastric flu or something. i got weaker and weaker every hour.. woke up from another sleep and i got fever..

how bad was it??

it was SO BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODY BAD!

i couldnt get up.. i was sooo weak.. everything i eat will end up in the toilet bowl in less than 5mins. i started to have chills and my temperature gradually increase.. so i was febrile at 38.3 degree celcius. thank god that izz was around to accompany me to the doctors. i spend 49 freaking dollars. the doctor said it could be food poisoning.. but i wasnt sure from what. i had no appetite to eat. 1 or 2 spoons of corn soup is like enough for me.. to be taking more is just sucidal.. i slept with long pant, huge tshirt, thick sweater, socks and comfy comforter. i was really freezing..

felt better on sunday but did vomitted at times. definately not as bad as the first day.. i those i woudnt be able to recover.. but alhamdulillah.. i was able to.. now feeling better better better! but nauseous at times.. =)

sheesh.. god really took away my weekend. prolly that was a lesson learn.. never say out things that are not necessary! becoz of the i missed out on a flea market, prolly picture taking and ofcoz the good food from mak's place.. i accept it for my misbehaving mouth.. =)

excited no more

2008-11-28T11:04:00.003+08:00

oke.. im not that excited for this weekend afterall. the rare saturday sunday off days. i dont need it.. i'll prolly stay home and just standby if anybody needs a driver. my life is deteriorating.. its a drastic change.

im so sad right now.. coz im too worked up thinking if im doing the right decisions all the time.. its like i dont want it but i know i need it somehow. i dont wanna lose anything. but its hard to explain. by saying this way it could hurt someone but i dont mean to. i really dont. but they wouldnt understand it at all. i dont want people to think that im misusing it on them. just that thing just dont fall at the right places at the right time.. u know what this is too tough to explain.. no one will get it.. even if they do.. they wont be able to solve the problem anyways.

i wonder if im gonna get greater things in life that i could prolly enjoy for the rest of my life.. well.. i wish for that.

2008-11-27T14:32:00.002+08:00

i've been dazing for the past few days.. weeks? months? i mean.. people can see the difference.. im more quite and have the disturbed mind face. ive been told off about it this morning. sheesh.. u know.. when people ask u what u're thinking off.. u just cant answer them. u just snap out what u're thinking of and u forgot about. subconscious.. is it right if i were to put it in a word? whatever it is.. its happening to me.. too much to think? prolly huh..

im so so so upset with my phase test. as early as 2 days before my phase test.. ive confronted my CA about it. i believe the whole class agrees. thing is that our phase test is on delivering a new born. and the testers are our lecturers who was a mid-wife before. so as u know.. different people have different ways of doing things and it sucks when we get different info from each and everyone of them. and as usual.. we get a checklist of the step by step instructions on what to do next and all.. and due to different ways of teachings.. the checklist keeps changing and changing.. us students.. if its possible.. we will try to memorize the whole thing so they can practice it fluently during practical. and sucks sucks that u have to re-memorize when the thing keep on changing. so what i told my lecturer is that.. "yes, we students are able to conform into memorizing the checklist even how many times u change it. but the main problem is.. will the teachers able to? as u know they have different ways and during the phase test itself.. i wouldnt want the teachers to be scolding us for doing it wrongly coz the way they do it is different." so my CA said that she'll talk to the teachers. oke fine.. so comes the phase test and the exact words that came out of my mouth happened!!! dammit!! example.. the way to massage the mummy's tummy... one teacher taught this way and my examiner said it was wrong. and to ask the mummy to stop pushing when the head is out.. its wrong.. my examiner said its during crowning that we should as them to stop. so which should i listen? who should be scolded? who should be given the bad marks? who should take the phase test really? i would really want to suggest that teachers should go on their own phase test first before they test us.. really its unfair this way!! im angry angry angry!! i wouldnt be surprise if my GPA is goin down.

prolly half of u who read that wouldnt understand what im talking about.. u should have skipped that. hah!

im sooo annoyed with my face.. breakouts are really bad.. it started when i went back to school. prolly i get less sleep and the place to study is improper. we sat on the floor like 90% of the time in school. hands on the carpet then hands on my cheek.. u know how it is.. hah.. now my face is like kruger.. everyone is slapping on my hands to stop me from touching.. hah.. slowly i'll get my pretty face back.. pray for me.. weee~~

starting back on my diet.. not really diet la.. its just that im cutting down on food.. started 2 weeks ago actually but when i went back to school i started eating again.. hah.. cant resist the good food there la.. u cant enjoy that kinda food in station~

i cant wait for my weekend off!!

i dont feel good right now.. feeling giddy and abit of the nausea feeling..

cab ride home

2008-11-16T14:13:00.002+08:00

u know whats the problem with me and a cab ride home? i will never sucessfully get in the carpark directly. the driver will either have to make a U turn back or stop slightly further than my carpark entrance. wanna know why? coz everytime.. at the junction of my house(drive 1 and st 12).. something will pop up. like someone calling/smsing me or im concentrating to much to dig out my money or i drop my coins or the driver is talking to me and many many other shitty things. and that would be the time i'll forget to inform the driver that he will have to make a turn to my carpark. hence causing an overshot. oke.. i dont know if that souunds correct but u get the idea i hope..

back to school tmr and im not looking forward to it that much. prolly i hate theory. i'd rather have a demonstration of what we're learning rather than teachers doing it verbally just like that. i can get it in my head but i have to read up again to get it clear. and the only thing that excites me in school is the food which i have to bloody tahan to resist the temptations. diet diet!!

kk.. i have to go.. will update again soon i hope. my blog is dying................

chorry

2008-11-12T12:46:00.008+08:00

sorry for the blog-a-pause. i just dont know what to blog about. it will either be too little or just plain crap. life have been so weird and different. im confused at time and constantly dazing most of the time and my collegue could even see it. they said i left good moods behind. yikess~

recently i weigh myself and ive gained additional 3kg. i just frozed mannn! gosh gosh gosh. from then on.. i really cut down on my food. eat as healthy as i could. exercise when im free which i really did oke! i started going swimming every week and jog here and there.. hee.. not really as much as i swim larr.. hope all this will bring me good new the next time i weigh myself..

ive been a bad friend to my bestest friend.. BELLE.. she's left out cold in my room without me touching her keeping her warm. i know the next time im taking pictures.. it'll be sooooo bad. well its never good la but i should be improving. here's some of my snaps. not much.. some of the ones i like. definately in need for improvement. hereeeee....

one sided sore eyed doll. anyone?? for 50bux.

raya cum bowling day.. gosh.. weird weird plans we had.

most of the pictures are bad coz they're constantly moving. im bad with taking moving picture. so post up1 group pic pon jadi la.

oke.. from here are pictures of stuff and places and food. i guess i prefer taking these kinda things..

wow...

2008-10-19T02:54:00.003+08:00

BRITNEY - WOMANIZER

MADONNA - GIVE IT TO ME LIVE

GIVE IT TO ME REMIX

JABBAWOCKEEZ!!!!!! I LOVE LOVE THEM!!!!!

AREN'T THEY CUTE?? WAHAHA.. LOVE WATCHING THEM.

Free U Can Keep

2008-10-16T22:43:00.001+08:00

sial lahhhhhh. selsema!!!!!

SHR!!! MZ&B!!!

2008-10-03T23:10:00.008+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya to all. Maaf Zahir dan batin. Much preparation was done.. well not really that much coz the painting of the walls were done before my sister's wedding, so there's nothing much that i did. This year i've decided to wear kebaya and if i could remember, my last kebaya was innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn........ oke.. i cant remember. So black it was for this year.. together with kakak and nana. Mom's purple, dad's grey and my bro's fam pink. some pictures of day 1 and day 2.

knowing that i wont get my pictures taken, i took a picture of myself myself. :-D but then at my Nyayi's place.. i thought Bukit how to use the camera.

This is at Nyayi's(mom's side) place. Food food!!!

This is Nyayi's famous sambal goreng pengantin. Kakak and i can just eat it the way it is for days..

thats my Nyayi with my parents. See how fair she is..

adorable Airiel. Just show him how u want him to smile.. he'll follow. as of this pic.

the GIANT i am to him. wahaha!!

the oh-so-annoying sarah who loves to ask questions. typical ang mohhh!!

as cute as them. i know..

this little girl will only laugh at clowns. like for this picture.. Aunty Zaidah's(2 pics before this. in green) the clown.

cousinsssssss

try watching the movie Bukan Bintang Biasa and look at the actor named Dimas Beck. then look at this guy in purple. look alike??

Nenek's house(my dad's side).
Didnt take much picture. slept half of the time there..

2nd day.
i swear to god.. he was really cycling on those.. with earphones plugged in his ears..

i took a picture of her taking a picture of us.. but i dont have the picture that she took at the moment.

dad: kenape korang suke ambik gambar muke ronyok?
me: oke bapak try..

me: best??

fug!! wotever dod. al lett tit b.

2008-09-25T01:13:00.006+08:00

1st look.. i was disappointed. then i found moreeee. i wonder why it has to be there and all. then i started wondering if u really ignored like what u told. then i started to think.. i shouldnt even bother at all in the first place coz who the hell am i. im just a friend. i have no right to say a word about it. so i did what i have to do.. i just shut my fucking self up. dont even start to ask me about this coz i would really just shut my fucking self up. i hope this is simple enough to understand.

ps: i saw my first shooting star tonight in a sweaty, smelly and unromantic way.

She turns 21 day

2008-09-17T16:21:00.013+08:00

So here it is.. the moment that u guys have been waiting for.. pictures of my birthday.. there's almost 200 pictures taken so i'll put up a few.. Enjoyyyyy!!

I would like to thank Afiq for being the photographer for the day!!

so before the surprise.. i meet at Fy's place. still have to wait for her siap and also wait for her credit card thing.. urgh!! long wait that we actually have to buke by the road side!

and at location.. this was found.. sweet kan?? this was part of the entrance..

my oh-soooo-delicious ice-cream cake! and its not chocolate!!

fyi.. im cutting the cake with a fork.

so there tons of food and it was superbly superb!! yummmm!

then Afiq played around with my cam and took lots of this ~~nyonya~~ hot stuff's pictures! hee..

And thats my Bjork card.. cool kan? Fi.. i know u hated glitters.. so i thank u sooo sooo much!

the many trials to take a group pic..

and the many trials to jump..

our soccer and maid agency photo taking..

the laughs

the grinding moments

superstar for the day.. this was fun..

and ofcoz.. pictures of me with everyone!! thanks ya'll!!!!

fool

2008-09-17T16:21:00.003+08:00

almost 2 weeks have passed and i still have not uploaded my bday pictures.. im having my holidays starting from tomorrow and i will be posting it up..

after a loooong long time i've not gotten a bad headache.. yesterday was the day that it came. how great that it was during my night duty. thought it'd be better after my sleep but it got much worse. and whats making it even much more worse? my nephews running around my house trying to the be their favourite superheroes. but it looks more like a gang fight to me. all the shoutings and the hitting and the crying. Ya Allah!!! i get no peace at home really. not really much of "rumahku. syurgaku" kinda thing.

Question: do u feel bad being a cause of a break-up between a relationship?
let me tell u people. im feeling so sucky right now coz im in that position now. its sucks to be labeled the "girl who caused my break-up". i've never really thought that all this would happen knowing that u know the friendship between us is strictly a friend thing. frankly.. im actually taking the blame. reason being we shouldn't have contacted through phone at all. or prolly stop contacting the day he told me that he has a gf which he intially told me he did not have one. being a girl and knowing how a girl would feel.. obviously explainations won't work when one is angry and upset after going through a freshly baked break-up. nothing much that i can really do but to just sit on my conscience.

and as im typing this.. my stomach is having a perang dayak due to hunger.. 2hrs countdown..

The Bomb!

2008-09-08T14:42:00.000+08:00

how it feels like to be 21? the same.

but the way i celebrated my birthday this year was the bestest!!

When? - 7th Sept 08
Where? - Botanical Garden
What? - buke puasa cum my birthday surprise
Who? - oke.. here's the list..

Me obviously
Fiffy
Dalilah
Pard
Fitot
Cheryl
Wany
Farid
Muhd
Afiq
Aidil

there's really too much to tell. its easier with pictures.. i'll upload them soon so u guys can see the craziness!!

i would like to thank all who came and especially to the planner!!! *BIGTHUMBSUP!!* u did an effing good job!! it was awesomely awesome! i loved it alot!! everything was perfect.. the people, the place, the food, the fun, the card and every other things! I TRUELY LOVE IT! i appeciate all of your presence and im happy that everyone of u came! i have no idea how else to express the happiness and the excitement. from the bottom of my heart.. i love u all to bits and pieces. i hope the wish that i wished out loud will be true. lets boob sag together boys and girls!

ps: im sooooo bloody touched yesterday that i almost cried!! tak nampak kan??

......

2008-09-05T20:09:00.000+08:00

oke.. let me tell u.. the list of things i need to do on my previous post was not achieved. the only thing i manage to do was meeting up with my sister in town. how nice..

i've got the answer for whats bothering me most. but im still unhappy with it.. it seems untrue and something's fishy..

oke picture time... just thought of loading the pictures in here.. dont get too bored..

so first things first.. this is the one. my bestest birthday present. but how sad.. collection is on the 8th.. :-(

EOS450D

Sisterly Love

Deelove & I-zhar

Zouk pics are up! but not all. i have to "curik" from fy's blog coz she's just oh-so-laaaaazy to send them through mail. hah!

selfish! abeh muke kite blurrrr!

kementelan kite gi zouk

i've told u! im straight! accept the fact fy!!

ive gotta find a reason for something to believe in

2008-09-03T12:30:00.000+08:00

im still on my bed now and i really have to get up to get things done. like always im the deebum that i am. feeling lazy these few days.. all i wanna do is to stay home and daze. is it the fasting thing?

few things i need to do today..
- get my working pants to the tailors
- collect my phone at samsung shop
- dropby starhub to check if my broadband cable can be replaced
- get myself new bras
- meet up with my sister in town
- sleep my ass off early coz theres work tmr

andddddd.... i dont care.... im gonna drag my younger sister along!

lately i've been sooooooooo uneasy. i dont think its best to let it out as it might go wrong or just hurt someone. the problem with boys.. it can never be easy thinking about it. im just curious of whats going on in their mind with the things they're doing.

as for work tmr.. i think i should just wait. wait of what people are gonna do. im not gonna talk or even look around and stare like i always do. even if i miss the "antie nana" thing so much.. i will try my very best to ignore till an explaination is given. i hope i could.. sighs..

im still waiting patiently for the call ive been waiting since sunday. the call on my cammy! when oh when will i be receiving it?? i cant wait to just click click with my index finger the whole day..

and sundayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...
DRESS UP
BRING SOME FOOD
AND YOUR BOYS
LAY OUR MATS
AND POSE BABY!!

SEXCITED!!!

BBP!!!

2008-09-01T10:36:00.000+08:00

yesterday was a jumpy day for me and my kakak. daddy have been asking us to think of what we want for our birthday and since there was an IT show in suntec, we both know of what we want for ourselves... oke im too excited to tell the whole story and lets just go straight to the point..

MY DADDY BOUGHT MY KAKAK AN ACER NOTEBOOK AND BOUGHT ME A CANON 450D DSLR KIT!!!! WooOOooHhhOOoOoOooooo!!!!

We were the happiest person alive!!! smiling the whole night through!! fuck!! i've never expected my dad to get it for me... really.. this is by far the best and the most expensive birthday present EVER.. i ammmmmmmmmmmmm haaappppppppppppppppppppyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!

but the catch is that i dont have the camera now.. it was out of stock but i will be able to get it by this weekend latest!! fuck it.. i dont mind waiting..

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH DADDY!! LOVE LOVE U!!!!!!!!!!!!

my schoolmates

2008-08-29T20:26:00.000+08:00

oke.. im like clueless of what to blog about. so this is basically what i have that i can show.. i had to go back to sch for a week and these are some pictures taken..

this was at a chalet of my friend's(in yellow) friend. believe me.. i have no idea what their names are.. and shithole!! look at that cheek and arms.. that as in MINE!!

this is my old aged classmates but really they're not acting their age. cock nak mampos!

sebok urh!! aku nak cute.. dorang pon nak cute..

cute kan aku?? paling cute kan kan??

but frankly people... i do look cute right?? *gives the say-u-agree look*

strange and beautiful

2008-08-23T13:40:00.000+08:00

I've been watching your world from afar,
I've been trying to be where you are,
And I've been secretly falling apart,I'll see.
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,
You turn every head but you don't see me.

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you.
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realise that you love me.

Yeah...
Yeah...

Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,
Sometimes, the frist thing you want never comes,
And I know, the waiting is all you can do,
Sometimes...

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep,
I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realise that you love me.
I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep 'cos I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realise that you love me, yeah...

slapped? not yet.

2008-08-21T23:49:00.000+08:00

why do i feel like something is not right?
i really hope the worst that i've thought of this few days does not happen!
im scared.
im not prepare for this.
i dont want things to change.
hopefully in the end, i wont get the feel of getting myself slapped on the face for a wake up call.
please, bring me good news and let me smile again.

crazy but loving it.

2008-08-18T17:38:00.000+08:00

i really think the whole of last week was madness. the time off thing. the johor. the late nights. the girls. the confession. sheesh... not that im complaining. im quite happy and comfortable with the way things are.

i have a few pics of the day the girls, some boys and i went karaoke. despite being all tired by work(that i literally slept in the karaoke room while they were singing all night long) it was good.. it was good that i get to spent time with the ones i love love.. i get manja-ed coz i was too tired. i get cuddles from the girls and massages as well. hah.. how nice.. and so yea.. here's some pictures..

so this was the place that we went. the name explains why we went here.

and it is located right next to pard's personal favourite food stall.

and so the craziness of the night begins..

my tummy.. looks like 2 months prolly?

if u look at wany closely.. u can see that the shades she's wearing has no sides. thats becoz fiffy broke it. that incredible woman. she could break a glass jar and what's plastic to her? hah.. dont touch me or u'll be breaking god knows what.

the manja moment i told u guys about. this is like the minor manja moments. the major one is when they lie down on top of me.. how suhhhhweeeet!

ouh yea.. just to make u girls smile reading this. one word will do..
SUPERMAN!

ps: hello uncle bucuk! aka the cause of sleepless nights. haha!

only god knows how much...

2008-08-09T21:54:00.001+08:00

i love u. i really do. very very much frankly. not that i dont care but i just need some time alone to think about myself first. i guess now would be the best time for u and i to do some reflection. we shall read in between our own lines. see the elephant which is right infront of us rather that the dust from overseas.

i love u, my only bb. im sorry.

what happened?

2008-07-31T00:36:00.000+08:00

these are the pictures of me last time. 1 or 2 years ago. what happened to me now u asked? well...... im asking the same question. heh..

BbLove

2008-07-29T10:38:00.000+08:00

Looking at the pages of my life
Faded memories of me and you
Mistakes you know I've made a few
I took some shots and fell from time to time
Baby, you were there to pull me through
We've been around the block a time or two
I'm gonna lay it on the line
Ask me how we've come this far
The answer's written in my eyes

Every time I look at you, baby, I see something new
That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more
I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time
When I look at what my life's been comin' to
I'm all about lovin' you

I've lived, I've loved, I've lost,
I've paid some dues, baby
We've been to hell and back again
Through it all you're always my best friend
For all the words I didn't say and all the things I didn't do
Tonight I'm gonna find a way

Every time I look at you, baby, I see something new
That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more
I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time
When I look at what my life's been comin' to
I'm all about lovin' you

You can take this world away
You're everything I am
Just read the lines upon my face
I'm all about lovin' you

Every time I look at you, baby, I see something new
That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more
I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time
When I look at what my life's been comin' to
I'm all about lovin' you
All about lovin' you

????

2008-07-27T12:46:00.000+08:00

i am really blocked out on how to make things better. everything i said or do seems to be so wrong to u. u hate it when i compare.. but i dont think u realise that u do it too.. i kept quiet all this while. its really not fair... whenever u feel hurt by what i do... just recall if u ever did that before. im just trying to prove that it hurts if u do that...

maybe we shouldnt talk on the phone so often.. seems like there's no trust on the phone.. its always oke and its as though nothing happened when we meet.

frankly i cant take it... at the same time im unsure.

Grrr!!!

2008-07-16T11:31:00.000+08:00

i wanna dance la fuck!!! i get pissed looking at my old self. fuck fuck fuck!!!

Danity Kane - Damaged

2008-07-14T00:27:00.000+08:00

current constantly listened song

shoutbox

2008-07-08T18:54:00.000+08:00

as u guys can see, i do not have a shoutbox. what u can do for now is just leave comments through the comments link at the end of every post..

adakah ku sedikit di hatimu?

2008-07-03T21:33:00.000+08:00

ketika kurasakan sudah
ada ruang di hatiku yg kau sentuh, ooh
dan ketika kusadari sudah
tak selalu indah cinta yg ada

mungkin memang ku yang harus mengerti
bila ku bukan yang ingin kau miliki
salahkah ku bila kaulah yang ada di hatiku, ooh

adakah ku singgah di hatimu
mungkinkah kau rindukan adaku
adakah ku sedikit di hatimu

bilakah ku mengganggu harimu

mungkin kau tak inginkan adaku
akankah ku sedikit di hatimu

bila memang ku yang harus mengerti
mengapa cintamu tak dapat kumiliki
salahkah ku bila kaulah yg ada di hatiku

kau yg ada di hatiku

bila cinta kita takkan tercipta
ku hanya sekedar ingin tuk mengerti
adakah diriku, oh, singgah hatimu
dan bilakah kau tahu
kaulah yg ada di hatiku

kau yg ada di hatiku
adakah ku di hatimu

it felt so real

2008-07-02T16:27:00.000+08:00

this has got to be the worst dream i ever had.. seriously.. maybe its true what abg jamil said. afternoon dreams are always weird..

it was a dream of izz meeting my sis to go for lunch and my sister called fad to join them. after lunch my sis went somewhere and left the 2 of them together.. they seem like they're having fun. izz ignore my call and presence. he totally ignored me as though that he's merajuk with me. i felt soooo freaking sad... so it was the next day and he still ignores me. my family went for a drive and through the car window i saw him and fad. fad was showing her bike and he was all smiling like it was his bestest day ever. i shouted his name as we passed but he just looked and turned back like i was just some kind of stranger. i really felt that i was crying in my sleep. then i think it was a few days later where there's an even. he came with fad. i pulled him aside and spoke to him but he said nothing and went back to fad.. fyi.. in this dream.. were are still together.. i tried every ways to express my feeling towards him but his expression shows that he was not interested. i huged him and he pushed me away.. he said dont.. looking at fad while he said that.. i tried to kiss him on his forehead and he said he didnt want it. i really didnt know what's going on.. after that i couldnt fine him. and when i saw him with fad again.. i tried to catch them but i didnt manage to. then i woke up. i felt so scared.. really scared... it felt so real...

remember this 2 funny videos??

2008-07-01T11:09:00.000+08:00

remember this??

lets see some new ones... not as funny but oke larrr... entertainment purposes..

burn this motherfucker down!

2008-06-29T12:31:00.000+08:00

gosh... never in my life i would get a sunburn after a tanning session! and friday was the first. only the upper body hurts. prolly i soaked my lower body in the water but not the upper. it hurts reaaaaal bad. im trying very hard to apply moisturizer every now and then so as not to cause any peeling.. and it sucks that i have to sleep laterally every night coz i can literally feel my back burning if i were to lie supine. i hope it gets better by tonight coz i dont want to be suffering at work tomorrow.. i really dont.

no more!

2008-06-24T22:59:00.001+08:00

i feel shitty. the week started off disappointly. no more for u mr! no more lame excuses for not coming! it feels like my heart is taken out from my chest and thrown to the wall. this would be the last. it sucks to be posting this but i dont have any other ways to let it out. it really hurts.

and now... godddddd!! help me!! i dont need this now!!! arghhhhhh!!

exhausted

2008-06-18T10:53:00.000+08:00

oke.. frankly i miss blogging and all this while i've been writting my sorrows in my notebook just to let it out.. it may sound stupid by i really did.

and if u people are thinking how am i doing.. well im exhausted. all i wanted to do is sleep since i started attachments. it was bearable at first and slowly i realised i needed more rest than what they're giving me now. my free time are tremendously cut down. prolly by half or even more. im sorry if a most invitations were turned down as my time are really constricted.

just a quick update..
i continued studying in the same bloody school taking paramedic and emergency care.
currently on attachment in tamp fire station for 5 weeks now.
i have long hour shifts and as told, im pretty exhausted due to lack of sleep/rest.
for those who have not seen me for quiet a while, i've grown an additional 10kg in 2007 and now maintaining the weight. now im not trying hard enough to loose the weight but will do someday.
im still with my beloved izz.. going very steady now.. =)
ouh yea.. the reason ive not been blogging is because my old computer was too old to be functioning well. so now i have a new one now.

i guess thats it for now.. having a migrane larr...

the first

2008-06-15T02:15:00.000+08:00

oke this is temporary. i mean the skin and all. just wanted to start up a new one. i wanted to blog in melodymocker.blogspot but i forgotten my password and they are unable to send it through my email.

so this is it.... miss me?